Perhaps I was having a bad day. Perhaps I was frustrated with the same questions, the same concerns that weigh on the minds of many of us from time to time, having to also weigh on the mind of my seven year old. Perhaps I was tired of him asking the same questions over and over again that I have no answers to. Whatever the reason, when he asked his question this time I launched into a long monoluge, my voice increasing in pitch, about how people try to change things, great efforts are made, hard work is done, backs and hearts fully put into things, and yet sometimes it just doesn't seem to make a difference.
He sat and listened intently, though he's heard it all before from me, he waited for me to finally stop talking (ranting) and take my usual deep sigh, and then he stood up, embraced me, and in a calm and soothing voice said:
"It's all right mama, I will make a difference"
That took my breath away. Made me stop and think.
I have a t-shirt in my drawer which reads, "Be the change you wish to see in the world"... we all try to live our lives with compassion and respect for each other and this wonderous planet we live on, we do the right things...we recycle cans and cardboard (even though no one is buying recyclables as much as they used to...our local recycling center has to pay to have glass picked up), we look into alternative energy for heating our homes and powering our cars, we buy local, or if not then free trade products... but how often to be have the courage of our convictions to stand up and say "I will make a difference"? Not, I will *try* to do something that brings change, but to say it like we mean it, in honesty and pure purpose, I *will* make a difference.
I will never forget that moment, the tone of his voice, the way he hugged me, the wisdom he seemed to possess at this still tender age ... but maybe we all need reminders to be confident enough to make such grand statements.
So I put it on t-shirts and buttons and magnets and coffee cups and postcards over at http://www.cafepress.com/iwill and to be true to the statement, begining February 1st, all of the profits from the shop will be given to a different group or cause randomly choosen by my son each month. I will post what he has choosen from the hat here, and welcome your suggestions.
I will make a difference,